The Woods of St Francis – 5

“My, my,” said Knowles to himself, “I thought my place was a time capsule, but it’s got nothing on this.”   

He looked at the matching Staffordshire dogs on the mantelpiece, the record player in the corner, Constable’s ‘Hay Wain’ on the flock wall-papered walls, and the cocktail trolley by the window, with fully stocked bottles he noted, and smiled. This had the potential to be a National Trust property from the 1960s / 1970s. He was relieved to see that there was no sign of a pet in the house, no cages, litter trays, dog collars, or aquariums. Not even a goldfish bowl. No need to get the animal shelter involved. Andy Bowen had lived alone.

Knowles looked in the kitchen and had a surprise. The fridge was well stocked with vegetables and fruit, and there were no processed foods. All this made Knowles wonder whether Bowen had turned over a new leaf recently, literally in the salad’s case – or whether he hadn’t included exercise in his daily habits yet. These things take time, as Knowles knew only too well. The milk smelled fresh. The food bank would love all these items. In the dish rack were one plate, one bowl, one spoon, one fork, and one knife, plus a mug full of water in the metal sink.

Some letters were in a letter rack on the counter, containing requests for payment that the estate would have to settle. There was a ticket stub for an event that Knowles didn’t recognise. He popped this in an evidence bag. There was a date on the back, stamped in red ‘25-02’, which presumably was 25th February this year. What events had taken place on Saturday, 25th February? He’d ask Linda to find out.

Barnes came into the Lounge. 

“Anything odd up there?” asked Knowles.

“He made the bed, all neat and tidy. The usual assortment of shirts, T-shirts, trousers, and shoes plus two jackets. He also has a replica England shirt and a Manchester United top.”

“I wonder if he’s a football fan then or just tries to fit in with the crowd?” asked Knowles, “there’s a ticket here for an event, would any local football teams have been playing on 25th February?”

“Well, there’s only two really who would issue tickets, that‘s Scoresby Town and Scoresby Rovers. I will check on my phone to see if either of them was playing on that date.”

As Barnes played with his phone, Knowles looked at the computer on the table and the answerphone. There were no messages. He took the computer and placed it in an evidence bag for the Forensics team to investigate. 

“Well,” said Barnes, “it looks like it was a local derby on Saturday 25th February, Scoresby Town were at home to Scoresby Rovers and it finished as a 2-2 draw, with both teams down to nine players, 4 red cards and 12 yellow.”

“A competitive game then,” said Knowles, “a typical lower league game with the ball only incidental on occasions.” 

“I hadn’t realised you were such an expert on local football clubs, sir,” said Barnes in surprise.

“I’m not, but I remember someone talking about it on the Monday afterwards, because I think things threatened to get out of hand when one player was sent off and some crowd members tried to remonstrate with him about his behaviour. There were three police constables there, and they calmed things down. It’s strange because there were only a few hundred at the match and yet there was almost violence, because one player kicked the ball at another player who he thought was feigning injury.”

“You have a splendid memory, sir,” said Barnes.

“It was the first thing I heard after coming back from my holidays, Barnesy, and I remember thinking that not much had changed during my time away.”

“I see, yes, you would remember that I suppose. Have you found anything out of the ordinary?”

“His computer is in this,” said Knowles, holding up the evidence bag, “it’s just a little Chromebook laptop by the looks of it, nothing fancy, presumably he didn’t use computers that much. As for other things, his last meal was on his own, and he cleaned up afterwards and washed and placed all the items in the dish rack, apart from the mug in the sink. The fridge is well stocked and all of it is healthy. Was there anything in the bathroom up there? And is there another room?”

“The bathroom was just a bath with no shower and very little in the cupboards other than the usual stuff, shaver, toothbrush, toothpaste, cotton buds, mouthwash. And yes, there’s a storeroom next to the bathroom with a spare bed that has no bedding on it, plus empty boxes for both a TV and what looks like an exercise bike.”

“An exercise bike? I wonder where that is? I haven’t seen that.”

The Woods of St Francis – 4

Knowles screwed up his face with doubt and rubbed his chin. Barnes nodded.

“Well, that’s a theory,” said Knowles,”but, she must have been drunk or blind. Strong too, to smack him on the back of the head at the same time as looking seductive. I’m not sure I’d go anywhere near a woman holding a brick, even if I was desperate.”

“There’s a picnic table over there,” said Barnes, “wouldn’t that have been a better place.”

“The voice of experience,” said Knowles, looking at Smythe and pointing at Barnes, “but I understand what he means.”

“Perhaps there was an accomplice, like Bonnie and Clyde, the woman, the distraction the man with the implement.” 

“You could be correct, Linda, I’m not discounting it at all. Barnesy, what else is there?”

“He lives in the village and has done so for about 20 years. He was a waiter at the bistro here when it was open and before that at a couple of restaurants in Scoresby. That’s all I found out from a couple of passers-by.”

“Fair enough,” said Knowles, “we should get those PCs on the house-to-house once we’re at the victim’s home. Shall we try to find the object? Let’s take 5 minutes to see if there’s anything obvious.”

The three police inspected the area with great care, but came up with nothing. Knowles bent over the body and noted that the victim wasn’t wearing any jewellery.

“You looked in his wallet, Sergeant?” he asked.

“Yes, it’s in this plastic bag,” said Barnes, “his credit cards are there and thirty pounds in cash, plus some loose change in his jacket pocket. They did not rob him unless he was wearing a pendant or something. His watch is still there too. Nothing expensive.”

“OK, Forensics can have this, I see they’re over there looking alert. Linda, go to the pub and ask the landlord, Tim Fearns, what Andy Booth was up to last night and whether he was with anyone at any point in the evening. And ask about the jewellery too. Not that anyone would have been examining him that closely. Then come over to the cottage at….what’s the address, Sergeant Barnes?”

“12 London Street,” replied Barnes, “thankfully, people in these remote villages still know each other’s business.”

“Indeed, parochialism has its uses sometimes,” said Knowles, “OK, DC Smythe, any questions?”

“No, sir,” said Smythe, “everything is very clear.”

“OK, let’s split, as people used to say, and meet up at the victim’s cottage at a time to be determined by fate.”

The Woods of St Francis – 3

“Good morning, Sergeant Barnes,” said Knowles, “you are even more pleased with yourself than normal, what’s causing the broad smile?”

“Good morning, sir, and good morning to you, DC Smythe. I haven’t become used to saying that, Linda, and congratulations once again on the promotion, it’s well deserved. As for smiling, sir, well it’s because you seemed so happy when I told you that Bingo hadn’t discovered the body.”

“It was relief more than anything.”

“He did save your life, sir, up at the Black Hill Hotel.”

“He did, you’re right, I should be more grateful. Anyway, I’ve a feeling you have more to say on the subject. Please continue.”

“Yes, I am not sure how to put this…a dog discovered the body.”

“What?”

Linda Smythe turned away and smiled. She knew her boss didn’t appreciate canines in the slightest.

“A dog discovered the body, and it’s a dog owned by Adelaide Hills.”

Knowles opened and closed his mouth like a goldfish.

“You mean she’s bought another dog? I presume Bingo’s OK? Is he?”

“Bingo is in fine form, sir, and has been training his accomplice.”

“Oh my lord, so what’s this dog called?”

Barnes laughed before saying, “It’s not much different from Bingo…the new dog’s called Banjo.”

“Banjo….Banjo, what’s with the names?”

“Banjo is a 2-year-old retriever obtained from the dog shelter in Scoresby as a Christmas present for Bingo. Mrs Hills thought Bingo needed some company, some social connectedness as she called it.”

“Right, well…well..well, Bingo and Banjo, short and snappy names I suppose. It means we have to go back to Goat Parva and see Adelaide once again in relation to a murder enquiry. I suppose Bingo will have to be out of the room whilst Banjo gives his story.”

“He will, sir, we must follow procedures. Anyway, please follow me to view the body of Andy Booth, a 70-year-old former waiter from this village. Let’s walk on the grass as there are some footprints on the path. They smacked him on the back of the head with a sharp object, a brick or large stone. The PCs are standing guard outside his cottage, so we can have a look later. He’d been in the Dog and Duck and was taken short on his way home, hence the willy hanging, or more accurately peeping, out of his trousers.”

“Really? It’s only fifty yards to the pub and their toilets are out the back in the beer garden, so he could have just run back there, though by the looks of him, that might have been too far. He’s overweight, even from this angle.”

“There might be another explanation,” said Smythe, “though looking at him, I doubt it.”

“And that is?” said Knowles.

“How do I put this,” said Smythe, “there might have been a lady involved.”

The Woods of St Francis – 2

“I heard my name mentioned, sir,” said Smythe, putting her phone down.

“You organised Mahoney, Linda?” asked Knowles.

“Indeed, sir, he likes flowers apparently, and so is the right man for the job.”

“He is, just as long as he doesn’t enjoy stealing them. He must be patient and blend in when he’s watching the gardens of Princes Crescent.”

“Mahoney’s taking an unmarked car, so that will help, won’t it?”

“Yes, it will, did you suggest that Linda?”

“I did, Inspector, but I think Mahoney didn’t need to be reminded of that. There was a certain silence coming down the line, the sort of silence that shows someone is thinking ‘I didn’t need to be told that’, but doesn’t want to say that for fear of causing offence.”

“Understood, Linda, get used to that now we promoted you to a detective. You’re an officer, so relationships will be a little different from now on. Anyway, you did hear your name. We’re heading to Manton Rempville. We have found someone dead in the woods. Sergeant Barnes has recommended the path near the signpost in the centre of the village, and then it’s about 25 yards. We should go as he will get anxious otherwise.”

“I see, I take it that the Bingo dog from Goat Parva did not discover the body?”

“No, Linda,” replied Knowles, “Bingo the retriever didn’t discover the body. Sergeant Barnes made that quite clear.”

Manton Rempville – Monday, 9:30am

Inspector Knowles and DC Smythe chugged over to Manton Rempville in Knowles’s Land Rover at a sedate pace under a pale-brown sky that looked like it would last the entire day. The road to the village was now clear of snow, ice, and general slipperiness for the first time in 3 months. It was a shortcut that Knowles and other locals knew about, a shortcut that involved two steep ascents lasting for about 100 yards, and two steep descents of shorter duration. The tyres on his vehicle were only 3 months old and gripped the grey-brown, rutted surface with great assurance. This shortcut was one of those roads that seemed to last forever, with brown, skinhead hedges on either side that blocked out the landscape, which at this time of year was no significant loss to those who admired and enjoyed landscapes. The road emerged in the centre of the village of Manton Rempville, opposite the Dog and Duck pub, looking subdued in the morning light. The window boxes were devoid of flowers and the sign creaked in the westerly breeze. A Morgan coupe was parked at the front. Sergeant Barnes had reversed into the space, allowing him a quick getaway should the need arise. Knowles parked his Land Rover in another space on the opposite side of the green front door. He realised Sergeant Barnes felt people should be able to admire his car without an old, ugly vehicle sullying the view.   

“Right, Linda,” said Knowles, “let’s see what we can find out. Sergeant Barnes has positioned himself by the signpost, just in case we didn’t know the way.” Sergeant Barnes was indeed lurking at the entrance to the woods, leaning on a metal handrail. He wore a burgundy coloured jumper under his jacket and grey slacks with running shoes. He looked elegant, in contrast to Knowles who looked crumpled even when he was wearing his usual work attire of smart black jacket, grey jumper, and designer black trousers, bought at a duty-free shop when coming home from holiday. Smythe was making the most of her promotion by wearing her favourite outfit of blue trousers and a red jacket, almost hidden by a grey mackintosh. She didn’t trust the weather, but it was great to be out of uniform. She waited for Knowles to change into his yellow wellingtons, a customary alteration for her boss, who wandered around without watching where he was placing his feet when contemplating a crime scene. 

The Woods of St Francis – 1

Chapter 1 – Scoresby Police Station – Monday 8:15 am

“Good morning, Linda,” said Detective Inspector Colin Knowles as he strolled into the office. Knowles was happy the last vestiges of snow had disappeared on his journey into the office.

“Good morning, sir, how are you today? You seem happier than you have been for a while,” replied Detective Constable Smythe, embarrassed that she’d caught herself noticing how thin her boss now looked, or relatively thin anyway compared with a few months ago. He’d been working hard on his fitness by the look of it. 

“Yes, I am, well spotted Linda, I had a wonderful weekend and caught up on my sleep. It’s the best I’ve slept since I came back from holiday in February. The cats are both well too and got along for the entire weekend which is unusual – they must be plotting something.” Knowles sat down at his desk and switched on his computer. He placed his mobile phone in a holder by his cactus plant.

“Well, talking of plotting it seems like someone’s been stealing plants from gardens in Melton Lazars again.”

“What Jubilee Gardens and Queen’s Road?”

“No, King’s Gardens this time.”

“Right, ask PC Mahoney to pay the people a visit. From what I remember the thief or thieves are following a particular route, because Queen’s Road leads into Jubilee Gardens and then King’s Gardens, so next it will be Princes Crescent.”

“Will do,” said Smythe, smiling at Knowles’s encyclopedic knowledge of the roads in local villages. She lifted the receiver of her landline and dialled a number.

At the same moment, Knowles’s mobile phone buzzed. He looked at the caller and mumbled under his breath…”Here’s trouble.”

He picked up the phone. “Hello Sergeant Barnes, how are you? Oh, I am glad you’re well, me too, now what is it you’re wanting to tell me – you sound all eager…..oh right..….really….a body? In the woods near Manton Rempville, you say. It’s not Bingo again, is it? Good, good, well I presume Forensics are on their way? Dr Crabtree and his latest helper, Michael whatshisname…? Waters, yes, that’s correct. Right, I will sprint over there right away. Yes, sprint Barnesy, sprint, my Land Rover has go-faster stripes on one side now, courtesy of a small wall that appeared out of nowhere last week when I was taking the cats to the vet and they were distracting me. Yes, I know blame the cats who can’t answer back. Oh, and what entrance to the woods is it best to use….? The entrance by the signpost in the village, right see you in about 30 minutes. I’ll bring Linda. We could use her sleuthing skills and eye for detail by the sounds of it. Bye, Sergeant.”

Knowles placed the phone in his pocket and skimmed through his emails which were almost all notifications of system upgrades at times he hoped he would not be awake. There were a couple of notifications about appearing in court in a month’s time in relation to a boy-racer case Knowles had worked on over in Frisby Waterless. A young man, Benjamin Greatbatch, had smashed his car into a bridge parapet when allegedly racing his friend Colin Pemberton. Greatbatch died and Pemberton denied all knowledge. Knowles was inclined to believe Pemberton, and not just because they shared a first name. He had an alibi that seemed cast iron. 

Where on Earth?

These places will NOT be found an any map or in any atlas.

This book describes a large number of little-known tourist sights from around the world. A book for the discerning traveller who has been everywhere else.

Read about the earwax museum called Monsieur Tussauds in London and the unhappy beaches of The Maldives. Discover small islands in the Pacific, Atlantic and Mediterranean. Read reviews of little-known museums in England and Canada.

East Uist, just to the West of South Uist, is a mysterious place. In amongst the peat bogs, crow-filled craggy peaks and lochans, archaeologists have found evidence of stone circles and cromlechs that were built on artificial platforms about two inches in height. The theory is that the people of East Uist were practising their skills gradually and learning from their mistakes on smaller projects, before heading off to the Orkney Islands where much larger and higher platforms were required.

The 6 Books of Knowles

There are six Inspector Knowles books set in and around Goat Parva, Manton Rempville, Willougby Waterless, and Melton Lazars. Where are these places you might ask? Well, they’re in my imagination.

The first book is The Goat Parva Murders – Just a typical Tuesday night in the English country hamlet of Goat Parva. The stalkers in the rhododendrons are busy watching the exhibitionists in the windows. Nothing unusual. Until that is when Bingo the retriever returns with a pair of shoes that were last seen adorning the feet of well known voyeur Clem Shapiro.

Steadily the secret lives, peccadilloes and illicit affairs of the inhabitants of this one time idyll of English Country Life all begin to unravel under the dogged investigations of Detective Inspector Colin Knowles. What seemed like a fairly simple case is rapidly deteriorating under a growing mountain of suspects, witnesses and bodies. Scratch the surface of this sleepy hamlet and it seems everybody has a motive to want somebody else dead. And D.I Knowles has only just begun to scratch. The Goat Parva Murders introduces the reader to a cast of eccentric characters that could have escaped right off the pages of a Tom Sharpe novel in search of mayhem, mischief and murder.

The second book is the Manton Rempville Murders – Bingo the retriever has been finding bodies again. This time, someone has left a sword in the back of Edward Pritchard in the grounds of a 700-year old monastery. Bingo found the body on his morning walk with his owner Adelaide Hills.

Pritchard used to work at the nearby stately home, Manton Rempville Hall, as a gardener, although all he seemed to cultivate was reasons for people not to like him. Inspector Colin Knowles and Sergeant Rod Barnes have to investigate which person hated him the most.

However, there’s a house party at the hall so there are plenty of suspects though people are unwilling to give up their secrets easily and Knowles and Barnes have to dig to find answers. They inspect the libraries, the studies, and the not-so-secret passage of the old hall in an attempt to find out who murdered Pritchard. The police are in a race against fate, because they suspect the killer will strike again.

Bells, owls, and ironic topiary all play a part in the investigation as Knowles and Barnes slowly weed out the suspects. But will they be in time to prevent further deaths and will Bingo play a role?

The third book is The Frisby Waterless Murders – Knowles and Sergeant Barnes investigate why the wrong person died on a murder/mystery excursion on a steam train. It seems more than one person wanted the victim dead and the question is: who murdered Major Harkness in full view of 24 people without any of them noticing?

The fourth book is The Black Hill Hotel Mystery – Someone is leaving tracks in the snow around The Black Hill Hotel and no one can work out why. Inspector Colin Knowles is called in when one of the guests has their wallet stolen in the middle of night. Knowles is attacked and left for dead in a snowy field, but is rescued by his favourite dog, Bingo the retriever, and his owner Adelaide Hills. Then a body is found in a snowdrift and Knowles realises that at least one person in the hotel has a lot to hide.

The Black Hill Hotel advertises itself as a place to get away from it all in the Winter. The hotel is fully booked, though not all the guests arrive when they are supposed to. The snow piles up and the hotel becomes more and more inaccessible to vehicles. Some guests are content to watch it fall, but others try to use the winter conditions to get away with murder and other crimes. An escaped prisoner, kidnapped children, impersonation, and old-fashioned revenge are all on the menu at the hotel.

Can Knowles, assisted by Sergeant Rod Barnes and Constable Linda Smythe, determine which guests have committed which crime before the snow melts? Will the murderer get away with the perfect crime? Will Knowles’s attacker be found? Could they be the same person?

The fifth book is The Melton Lazars Mystery – Murder amongst the books in Scoresby.  Inspector Knowles has to work out why a bookseller was murdered. His investigation is complicated because he had feelings for the murdered lady. Along with Detective Sergeant Rod Barnes he has to turn the page and cover all eventualities.

The killer is one step ahead and next tries to kill a florist. Knowles and Barnes root through the witness statements, leaf through the evidence, and assimilate the findings that stem from the investigation. When events shift to the nearby village of Melton Lazars, Knowles and Barnes know it’s only a matter of time until the killer is caught, though it’s almost certainly not the time on the grandmother clock in the florists!

With inaccurate clocks, a sensitive bank manager, cocky DIY professionals, a Guy Fawkes mask, and an exotic call centre worker all thrown together, this book zips along at a fast pace until the revelatory final chapter.

The sixth book is The Woods of St Francis Mystery

There’s a new retriever in Goat Parva called Banjo and he’s providing good competition for Bingo, the favourite of Mrs Adelaide Hills. Banjo finds a body in nearby Manton Rempville. The initials of the victim are AB.

Soon a victim with the initials CD is found in the Assisi Lake in the Woods of St Francis and the following day a victim with the initials EF is found axed to death near the same lake.

Moving from pubs to social services to an artist’s cooperative, this murder mystery speeds through the villages around the Woods of St Francis. Is the local football club involved? Is someone at the newspaper covering up a story?

Or is an environmentalist choosing people who’ve committed crimes against nature and dispatching them?

Inspector Knowles, Sergeant Barnes, and the newly promoted DC Smythe are in a race against time to find the killer before another person meets their end.

Can Banjo and Bingo find where a tree has been chopped down to provide a vital clue in the investigation?

The 6 Books of Knowles

There are six Inspector Knowles books set in and around Goat Parva, Manton Rempville, Willougby Waterless, and Melton Lazars. Where are these places you might ask? Well, they’re in my imagination.

The first book is The Goat Parva Murders – Just a typical Tuesday night in the English country hamlet of Goat Parva. The stalkers in the rhododendrons are busy watching the exhibitionists in the windows. Nothing unusual. Until that is when Bingo the retriever returns with a pair of shoes that were last seen adorning the feet of well known voyeur Clem Shapiro.

Steadily the secret lives, peccadilloes and illicit affairs of the inhabitants of this one time idyll of English Country Life all begin to unravel under the dogged investigations of Detective Inspector Colin Knowles. What seemed like a fairly simple case is rapidly deteriorating under a growing mountain of suspects, witnesses and bodies. Scratch the surface of this sleepy hamlet and it seems everybody has a motive to want somebody else dead. And D.I Knowles has only just begun to scratch. The Goat Parva Murders introduces the reader to a cast of eccentric characters that could have escaped right off the pages of a Tom Sharpe novel in search of mayhem, mischief and murder.

The second book is the Manton Rempville Murders – Bingo the retriever has been finding bodies again. This time, someone has left a sword in the back of Edward Pritchard in the grounds of a 700-year old monastery. Bingo found the body on his morning walk with his owner Adelaide Hills.

Pritchard used to work at the nearby stately home, Manton Rempville Hall, as a gardener, although all he seemed to cultivate was reasons for people not to like him. Inspector Colin Knowles and Sergeant Rod Barnes have to investigate which person hated him the most.

However, there’s a house party at the hall so there are plenty of suspects though people are unwilling to give up their secrets easily and Knowles and Barnes have to dig to find answers. They inspect the libraries, the studies, and the not-so-secret passage of the old hall in an attempt to find out who murdered Pritchard. The police are in a race against fate, because they suspect the killer will strike again.

Bells, owls, and ironic topiary all play a part in the investigation as Knowles and Barnes slowly weed out the suspects. But will they be in time to prevent further deaths and will Bingo play a role?

The third book is The Frisby Waterless Murders – Knowles and Sergeant Barnes investigate why the wrong person died on a murder/mystery excursion on a steam train. It seems more than one person wanted the victim dead and the question is: who murdered Major Harkness in full view of 24 people without any of them noticing?

The fourth book is The Black Hill Hotel Mystery – Someone is leaving tracks in the snow around The Black Hill Hotel and no one can work out why. Inspector Colin Knowles is called in when one of the guests has their wallet stolen in the middle of night. Knowles is attacked and left for dead in a snowy field, but is rescued by his favourite dog, Bingo the retriever, and his owner Adelaide Hills. Then a body is found in a snowdrift and Knowles realises that at least one person in the hotel has a lot to hide.

The Black Hill Hotel advertises itself as a place to get away from it all in the Winter. The hotel is fully booked, though not all the guests arrive when they are supposed to. The snow piles up and the hotel becomes more and more inaccessible to vehicles. Some guests are content to watch it fall, but others try to use the winter conditions to get away with murder and other crimes. An escaped prisoner, kidnapped children, impersonation, and old-fashioned revenge are all on the menu at the hotel.

Can Knowles, assisted by Sergeant Rod Barnes and Constable Linda Smythe, determine which guests have committed which crime before the snow melts? Will the murderer get away with the perfect crime? Will Knowles’s attacker be found? Could they be the same person?

The fifth book is The Melton Lazars Mystery – Murder amongst the books in Scoresby.  Inspector Knowles has to work out why a bookseller was murdered. His investigation is complicated because he had feelings for the murdered lady. Along with Detective Sergeant Rod Barnes he has to turn the page and cover all eventualities.

The killer is one step ahead and next tries to kill a florist. Knowles and Barnes root through the witness statements, leaf through the evidence, and assimilate the findings that stem from the investigation. When events shift to the nearby village of Melton Lazars, Knowles and Barnes know it’s only a matter of time until the killer is caught, though it’s almost certainly not the time on the grandmother clock in the florists!

With inaccurate clocks, a sensitive bank manager, cocky DIY professionals, a Guy Fawkes mask, and an exotic call centre worker all thrown together, this book zips along at a fast pace until the revelatory final chapter.

The sixth book is The Woods of St Francis Mystery

There’s a new retriever in Goat Parva called Banjo and he’s providing good competition for Bingo, the favourite of Mrs Adelaide Hills. Banjo finds a body in nearby Manton Rempville. The initials of the victim are AB.

Soon a victim with the initials CD is found in the Assisi Lake in the Woods of St Francis and the following day a victim with the initials EF is found axed to death near the same lake.

Moving from pubs to social services to an artist’s cooperative, this murder mystery speeds through the villages around the Woods of St Francis. Is the local football club involved? Is someone at the newspaper covering up a story?

Or is an environmentalist choosing people who’ve committed crimes against nature and dispatching them?

Inspector Knowles, Sergeant Barnes, and the newly promoted DC Smythe are in a race against time to find the killer before another person meets their end.

Can Banjo and Bingo find where a tree has been chopped down to provide a vital clue in the investigation?

The Goat Parva Murders – 1

This excerpt is from the book entitled The Goat Parva Murders an English Murder Mystery book set in the countryside and stars two policemen who have been working together for a few years and get along really well.

There’s lots of dialogue and banter with some humour thrown in amongst the murders and suspects..

The stalker trained his binoculars on the ground floor lounge window where Danica Baker-Clements could be seen in her underwear watching TV. Danica’s blonde hair tumbled over artificially brown shoulders and the rhododendron branches twitched as the binoculars moved slowly over her complete loveliness. An owl screeched in the trees behind the stalker – the bird was catching mice in Doggett’s Field near the Baker-Clements’ house and had been disturbed. The warm night air was filled with the scent of honeysuckle.

The stalker was anticipating Mrs Baker-Clements removing her clothes during the evening as was the custom on Tuesdays and so intent was he on sharing every moment with her that he failed to hear the slight footfalls behind him. Danica Baker-Clements began to unhook her bra and the stalker’s breathing increased in intensity.

As the bra fell aside the stone hit the stalker’s skull rendering him unconscious instantly. He fell forward into the bush and then slumped to the ground, his glassy eyes surveying the lounge window but this time without binoculars. The assailant picked a bloom, placed it in the stalker’s mouth, and clamped the mouth shut.

For Rosemary, thought the assailant, the fight back begins.

Two minutes later Tim Armstrong cycled down the Baker-Clements’ drive and parked his bike out of sight behind the greenhouse. He was on time. He kept to the shadows created by the strong moonlight and soon knocked on the dining room window. Mrs Baker-Clements smiled, removed her last item of clothing, and headed to the window. They were seen only by a pair of lifeless eyes.

Tomcat Tompkins – 28

This novel is something a little different for me. It is a satire set in the
UK at the present moment. There are striking parallels between these days and
the 1930s. There’s a lot of racist people around who are crawling out of the
woodwork as they have been encouraged by the implications of the Brexit vote.

====

“Corgis? Who would stoop that low?” asked Terry.

“Vile creature,” said the GOM, “and I mean the Secretary, not the corgis, which are terrible, yappy things at the best of times.”

At that moment, there was a “Coo, Coo, Coo, Coo, Coo” from outside.

“What day is it?” asked Terry.

“5 coos is the same on all days – it’s a warning there’s people about that we don’t want to listen into our conversations,” said the GOM, switching out the light.

“Where are they?” asked Dapper Dan.

“There’s two suspicious characters out front, near the moorings,” replied Binky Banks-Smythe who’d just come inside, “Sandy has them under observation with his binocs.”

“I’ll have a look,” said Tompkins, “and see if I recognise any of those damned blighters – perhaps they’re the ones I saw on the way here.”

“Right, perhaps they are” said the GOM as Tompkins opened the door and crept out onto the verandah.

“Here’s the binoculars,” said Sandy handing them to Tompkins, “the two men are over there near the boat house.”

“I’ve located them,” said Tompkins, whose eyes had become used to the light, “and well, I don’t believe it. It’s old Ingram from the Metropolitan Police with a henchman for company. I sometimes wonder, Sandy, whether the boys in blue are on our side.”

“It is hard to tell, you’re right, Tomcat,” replied Sandy smiling at his friend’s opinion, forthrightly expressed as usual.

“I wonder if Spiffy Wiffy is around – he usually waits in the car for something to happen.”

“I doubt that, Tomcat, I’m sure he was heading up to Shropshire to stay with my uncle and aunt in Ludlow.”